War for the Icha
by Dragoon14455
Summary: The Kunoichis are fed up with Kakashi's prized possession......his Icha Icha Paradise collection.... So they plan to steal the books away from him.... does this mean all out war?
1. Someone Stole The Books

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto though I wish I did... cause that would be awesome. So..So very awesome 

Summary: The Kunoichis are fed up with Kakashi's prized possession...his Icha Icha Paradise collection... So they plan to steal the books away from him... does this mean all out war?

A/N Meh... I'm so bored... I'll update once I feel like it. Well this is my first Fan Fiction so don't expect good stuff.  
also my first attempt at humor so yea... flamers will be laughed at.I am also not sure if someone else made a Fan fiction like this so...please R&R

Chap 1 Someone Stole the Books

A Beautiful Day in Konoha... ruined by the sudden shout of a certain pink haired Kunoichi

Sakura: "HE'S LATE AGAIN ... ONCE HE COMES IM GONNA RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND FEED IT TOO THE FISHES."

And if on cue poof "Hey"

Naruto: "You're late again Kakashi-Sensei!"

Kakashi: "Ah... well you see about that I was walking down the streets when I saw a cat i-"

Sakura:"CUT THE CRAP"

Kakashi: "I tried"

Sasuke: "..."

Naruto: "So what are we going to do today?"

Kakashi: "Yes... we will be out on an S rank mission today..."

Naruto in a happy face said: "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS We're doing something exciting for once!"

Sasuke: "Shut up idiot" he said coldly even though he was quite interested

Naruto: "What did you just call me!"

Sasuke: "An idiot"

Naruto: "You're asking for it..." _He charges Sasuke and attempts a punch_

Sakura: "STOP IT YOU TWO..."

Sasuke and Naruto glare at each other.

Kakashi: "Well today's mission isn't an official mission... but a mission that i'm going to give you... "

Sakura: "What are we going to do Kakashi-Sensei?"

Kakashi: "Well you see I woke up today trying to cuddle with my Icha Icha Paradise when I realized something... my Icha Icha paradise volume 1 mint condition was not next to me... I spent a full 3 hours looking for it when I realized that my whole collection was gone and I couldn't find them and that's when I knew someone broke into my house and s-ss-STOLE MY ICHA ICHA PARADISE COLLECTION" Kakashi starts crying like there was no tomorrow

Sasuke, Naruto, Sakurastare at their sensei in disbelief

Sasuke muttered: "Don't even waste my time with such pitiful assignments... why should I help you find your perverted novels always..."

Evil Grin Kakashi whispers in Sasuke's ear "If you don't, I'll tell all of Konoha about your stuffed teddy bear that you sleep with" .

Sasuke: "GASP! how do you know about that?"

Kakashi: "I have my ways..."

Naruto: "Well I for sure am not going to help you"

Kakashi: whispers in Naruto's ear "...whisper ...whisper...whisper..."

Naruto: "GASP ... you wouldn't"

Kakashi: "I will" With Evil looks in his eyes

Sakura: "Well that leaves me"

Kakashi: "I'll tell everybody about that embarrassing moment you had with Lee making a kissy face"

Sakura: "PLEASE anything but that"

Kakashi: "Alright team move out ... let's find those robbers"

3 hours later

Sasuke: "I still can't believe we were forced into finding Kakashi-Sensei's stupid perverted novels"

Kakashi said in defense: "My books are not stupid!"

Sasuke mumbled: "Sure they aren't..."

Anko and Kurenai walk up to a heavily breathing team 7...

Kurenai: "What's wrong?"

Kakashi: "SOMEBODY STOLE MY ICHA ICHA PARADISE COLLECTION"

Anko: "Oh yea that was us..."

Kakashi: "GASP! HOW DARE YOU... RETURN THEM INSTANTLY"

Anko: "NEVER"

Kakashi: "THIS MEANS WAR!"

Anko and Kurenai stare in disbelief...

Kurenai: "Idiot..."

Kakashi: "Come on team... WE MUST RECRUIT MEMBERS INTO KAKASHI'S SUPER ARMY"


	2. The Setup of Kakashi's HQ

Disclaimer: blah …blah… blah, you know the situation

Thanks for the reviews

A/N: My arse hurts… so umm yea uhh enjoy

Chapter 2: The Setup of Kakashi's HQ

**At Kakashi's house thingy/pad/ shindigididig**

Kakashi: In order to defeat the she-beasts who undoubtedly stole my precious … oh so precious Icha Icha paradise … we must make a base to plan the defeat of the wenches…. we must also recruit our fellow friends (people who will sacrifice themselves for Kakashi's book).

Naruto: "PICK ME! PICK ME! I want to recruit people… making fliers… posters…. OH JOY…"

Sasuke in his mind doubts Naruto's masculinity

Kakashi: "We must build protection… Sakura gather all the pillows you can find … Sasuke gather all the food… Naruto start working on those fliers…. **Kakashi making a grin.**

Sakura went to find the pillows… she searched high and low near and far… hear and there… Sasuke walked into the kitchen to gather food… and Naruto well um err ... had shiny sprinkles, and paint all over his body.

**Sakura sets up their safe spot by putting pillows all around the couch... and Sasuke put all the food inside their safe spot...**

Sasuke: I gathered all the food...** with hateful eyes at Kakashi**

Kakashi: Good job Sasuke, Sakura...both of you will now devise a plan to get back at the name-not-to-be-spoken

Kakashi: "COME WITH ME NARUTO … WE WILL GATHER OUR NEW SOLDIERS AND BUILD THE FOUNDATION OF….. KAKASHI'S SUPER ARMY!"

**Like that… they zoom of into city.**

Lee and Gai were walking down the streets talking about how cool and what not about each other…

LEE!

GAI-SENSEI!

LEE!

GAI-SENSEI!

**The sun setting in the back even though its morning… and they hugged… and hugged... and hugged…**

**Kakashi and Naruto walk up to the hugging pair (LOL)**

Kakashi: "GAI ... LEE" "The evil she-beasts have stole my books. Will you join my army in attempt to save my books?  
"

Gai: "Who might these evil she-beasts be?"

Naruto: "You don't need to know that…. All you need to know is that they are evil and should be stopped at all costs"

Gai: Hmm you have me stumped my eternal rival… Lee what do you think we should pick?

Lee: Yes seems good but at the same time no seems equally good

**Gai and Lee both furrow their trademark eyebrows and think extremely hard…**

Gai: "YES! I will attempt to save your books my eternal rival then we shall see who is better! LEE! We must go and save those books from the clutches of the evil doers."

Lee: "YES GAI-SENSEI I will follow you to the end!"

Gai: "OH LEE!"

Lee: "GAI-SENSEI!"

Kakashi: "Naruto we must divide and go spread the fliers and banners to join Kakashi's army."

Naruto: Yes, sir! **They both run separate ways and leave behind the hugging and crying teacher and student.**

Gai: Quickly Lee! We must spread the words of youth that shall recruit members into my eternal rival's army! ...tomorrow... I need my beauty sleep **smiles**

Lee: I understand Gai-Sensei, see you tomorrow!

**They both start to cry**

**Meanwhile in Kakashi's house**

Sakura: Sasuke, how about you and I go on a date!

"No", Sasuke coldly stated

**Sakura frowns at the reply**

Inner Sakura: _ let's pull out the big guns Sakura!_

Sakura: _It might be risky but it's worth a try _

**Sakura pulls out her big guns (heh)**

**Sasuke stares… O.O**

_Inner Sakura: It's working!_

Sasuke: Those are some big guns…

_Sakura: Yes! I finally got his attention!_

Sakura: Yep ;) Wanna touch?

Sasuke: Sure

**Sakura hands over her AK-47… M4A1… and a bazooka (LOL what did you expect?)**

_Sasuke: With these I'll finally be able to kill Itachihehehehe Itachihehehehe Itachi is going down!_

Kakashi and all of Kakashi's Super army gather at his house for a meeting…

Kakashi: "So the end of day 1 ends…. We will strive to gather all fellow shinobi and kunoichis tomorrow!" Good night … rest up… for tomorrow will require lots of energy"

**Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Gai, Lee, and random person #1 (actually read the fliers and banners on the first day...WOW) walk off to their own homes….**


	3. Code Names

A/N Eh... sorry for the long wait... i was lazy and unmotivated

Disclaimer: Nope ... still don't own it

I will laugh so hard at flames

Chapter 3 Codenames

The sun is shining as our Naruto pleasantly is warm and cozy and his nice little comfy bed of his. The birds are chirping, river is flowing, Gai screaming out to everybody... it was quite peaceful it is. Everything went okay until BOOM. The door broke down in a cloud of dust only to see Kakashi wearing a funky outfit. ( I like to think his outfit is the ghostbuster outfit ... but let's not... )

Kakashi then walk ups up to Naruto and then... he slaps him right in the cheek and screams out "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!". And just like that... Naruto wakes up... (magical is it not?)

"Why'd you do that for?" Naruto grumpily said, but Kakashi paid no attention to him.

Kakashi: " Now that you are awake... go round up everyone and tell them to come to our ... "H...Q."

"Fine..." Naruto sighed.

And so everybody went to HQ ( couch with many pillows around it )

Kakashi: "Jiraiya and Ebisu has enthusiastically joined our army."

Jiraiya exclaimed " Any person that steals my work of art from a happy customer are my enemies."

Kakashi: "We all need codenames so i gave myself liberty to give you all codenames. You shall now all call me Afro Thunder"

Kakashi pulls a chalkboard out with stuff on it and such

"On this list you will see your codename"

The Codenames

Jiraiya : Horny Wonder

Ebisu : Brother Horny

Naruto : Crazy Weasel

Sasuke : Full Moon

Sakura : Pink Fudgenut

Gai : Fuzzy Speedo Senior

Lee : Fuzzy Speedo Junior

Kakashi: "I trust you all agree with your names"

Sakura: "I ha-"

Kakashi: "Good. Now you will be broken down into groups... Jiraiya , Naruto , Sasuke... You are now the Burned Thighs. Ebisu you're with me and we shall be known as the THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER. Sakura you will be known as Le Femme. Gai , Lee you will be now known as THE SPANDEX CLAD WARRIORS. That will be all for today... dismissed."

Our heroes now go their seperate ways to do their things

Kakashi goes recruiting...

Naruto goes to Ichiraku...

Sasuke beats up his Itachi doll...

Sakura stares at Sasuke beating up his Itachi doll...

Lee stares at Sakura staring at Sasuke beating up his Itachi Doll...

Gai watches Lee staring at Sakura staring at Sasuke beating up his Itachi Doll...

Jiraiya goes peeping...

Ebisu goes peeping...

Shikamaru is staring at the clouds so peacefully under his favorite tree.

Kakashi walks by and notices him

Kakashi: "Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru moving his eyes to where the voice came from locates Kakashi

Shikamaru: "What?"

Kakashi : "You must join my army."

Shikamaru : "Too troublesome"

Kakashi : How about for $50 Dollars

Shikamaru's attention rose up .1

Shikamaru : "Makes it $100."

Kakashi: "Deal."

And since Chouji and Asuma worship Shikamaru like a god... they go wherever Shikamaru goes... which means they joined the army

Kakashi : Shikamaru your new codename shall now be Smart Lazy Turtle. Chouji shall now be Sitting Bull. Asuma you will now be Comes-In-Sight.

Kakashi then continues his journey... and ends up finding Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino

Kakashi: "Hey there."

Kiba: "Hi."

Shino: " ... "

Kakashi: " Will you both consider joining my army to get my books back from evil witches?"

Kiba: " What would we get in return for helping you?"

Kakashi: "$1"

Kiba: "I'LL DO IT! Shino you're coming along too right?"

Shino: " ... "

Kakashi: "I'll take that as a yes."

Shino: " ... "

Kakashi: "Okay Kiba you will be known as Smoked Beef Jerky, Shino you will be (insert overly dramatic japanese attack here), and Akamaru you will be Battle Hound Unlimited.

And so the day ended...


	4. Over a Cup of Ramen

1 rule: dont ever expect me to update regularly

Chapter 4 Over a Cup of Ramen

**It was a another sunny day... peaceful ... but for a certain someone it was a devastating blow to the stomach.**

Everyone was at Kakashi's house talking amongst themselves, their was a board with words on it, the base perimeter is now the whole living room and not just the couch and pillows,and thenpoof Kakashi appeared in a gust of wind.

Kakashi : Listen up everyone, we need to go over the basic rules of our army.

Naruto : Aww... why do we have to have rules why don't we just g-

Kakashi payed him no attention and cut him off

Kakashi : As you might have notice on this board, the rules are clearly written and if you ever forget the rules, the board will always be where it is next to the cupboard. Now, I shall read them to you so listen and remember good.

Rule 1 : Do not tell anyone where our secret base is.

Rule 2 : You are loyal to my army and my army only.

Rule 3 : If some homeless bum asks you for money, I want you to stare at them until they go away.

Rule 4 : If you betray the army you will be hunted down and tortured.

Any questions?

Naruto : Can we do the questions over a cup of ramen?

Kakashi : I don't have any ramen.

Naruto : WHAT?

Kakashi : We can go to Ichiraku's.

Naruto : YEAH!

Kakashi : But you are paying.

Naruto : OKAY!

(get it Lil Jon's yeah what and okay hahahahahaha)

At Ichiraku's everyone had a bowl of ramen.

It was Naruto's 5th bowl of ramen and the bowls just kept coming and emptying up.

Kakashi : So does anyone have any questions?

Sakura raised her hand. Kakashi ignored her. Sakura raised both hands.

Kakashi : Anyone?

Sakura waved her hand all over the place.

Kakashi sighed and gave in

"What's your question..."

Sakura went to Sasuke and said "Can i marry you"

Sasuke : No.

Sakura : Are you sure?

Sasuke : Yes.

Sakura : Can you reconsider?

Sasuke : Sakura, no is my final answer.

Sakura : Please?

Sasuke : No.

And then "she" who should not be mentioned so happened to walk by.

Kakashi and Kurenai locked eyes.

Kakashi : YouHE

Kurenai : KakaSHE

Kakashi : Take that back

Kurenai : Never!

And then she hit the table hard and spilled Naruto's bowl of precious ramen. Naruto went over to his precious bowl and started to cry. Teuchi (is the guy who owns Ichiraku right?) and Ayame went over to comfort Naruto, but it couldn't be helped. Now even another free bowl could help Naruto now.

Kakashi and Kurenai were in a heated battle, insulting each other.

And then Kurenai disappeared.

Naruto was angry, she spilled his bowl of ramen.

Naruto : IM GONNA RUIN HER HOME

Kakashi : NO NARUTO IT'S TO DANGEROUS THERE

Naruto already ran off towards the direction of Kurenai's house

Kakashi : NOOO COME BACK!

Kakashi attempted to run after him but he was held back by his archrival Gai

Gai : You musn't you'll be heading into the danger zone. There is nothing we can do now, but mourn for the doomed soul. His youthfulness was to great to be control by words.

**Later on in the day a memorial service was held at Kakashi's house to remember the brave and reckless soul that charged into enemy territory**

Gai : Kakashi, its time to give your speach.

Kakashi walked to the front of the crowd and everyone quited down.

Kakashi : Naruto, student, friend, money consumer. I can almost hear his voice ringing in my head, he was loud and always spoke his mind. Kakashi started to cry and then he walked off to the kitchen.

Sasuke then walked up to the front

Sasuke : Naruto , poor poor Naruto. Teammate, lacky, my human punching bag. its been so quiet without him. Sasuke then stood their for a few minutes then walked back to where he was.

Sakura : I knew him well he was more then just my teammate, he was my friend andI never got to tell him that. **Sakura started to cry a little**And I miss his obnoxiousness.

And then she broke down into tears and ran to Sasuke hoping that he would comfort her.But he didn't.

Then a kunai with a note attached to it broke through the window all of a sudden.

:O


End file.
